Apology

Apology
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Lifestyle

I saw the headline in the Metro section of yesterday’s Wall Street Journal -- “The Politics of Apology: A Standoff”. On Tuesday, Victoria Drogin commented at the Long Island Women’s Group meeting that women tend to apologize, whereas men generally don’t. And I recall being instructed by a Senior partner at my first law firm never to apologize.

Apology - “an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret”. Although this is the second-listed definition in the Webster’s on my bookshelf (the first being “a formal justification” or “an excuse”), it works for me.

When I saw the headline referring to Mayor de Blasio’s current issue with the NYPD, I wondered whether Victoria’s comment was the missing kernel of understanding: He’s a man, therefore he won't apologize.

What is it about apologizing that makes it so difficult? Does the word carry some stigma? Or is it the process?

I’ve gotten over those early words of instruction and apologize -- but only when appropriate (and that may be the subject of another blog).

Comments

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Wed, 01/14/2015 - 21:05

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It feels good when someone apologizes to me.
Fred Klein

The above is my comment. I might add that I do apologize too.
Cynthia Somma

I can see your pants on fire all the way from LI ^^^ Mr Klein.

All kidding aside, apologies go a long, long way....for both parties.
Cayce Crown

Apologies are powerful. Getting and giving. Can you do it when you think you're free from blame? Thats the most powerful. A great tool for living.
Paul Napolitano

One has to be wrong for an apology to be necessary, right? ;)

I have no idea where Victoria gets her data from. I think she is wrong and should apologize!

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Thu, 01/15/2015 - 05:23

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I'm married, of course I apologize when I'm right!
Flo Feinberg

I'm sorry to tell you this, honey, but we have to define "appropriate"...
I know it's not easy to apologize....keep working on it!
Corey Bearak

I concur with Ben's thoughtful conclusion. I apologize when merited; no problem in doing so; certain instances -- never a subject of a blog (at least by this correspondent) -- require no apology even if some wrong or slight occurred.
At the same time from personal experience, I observed and encountered men -- professional and non-professional --preferring to waste mucho time avoiding any apologize for their actions/ inactions/ slights, etc. It's sort of version of referring something to a commission whose findings get reporting when no one cares or follows the incident/ matter.
As an aside it just occurred to me I would apply my above "analysis" to an admission of wrong, error or fault.

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