I have always been the one who arrives 10 minutes early, but better early than late! Now that I am at the mercy of the MTA, I leave early enough to account for “unexpected” delays and detours. I often find myself 15-20 minutes ahead of schedule and it's still OK; I know I am not going to change - I still prefer being early to the stress of being late.

For online meetings, I make sure to show up on time - no need to be early. And when someone is late, I wait 4-5 minutes and log off having no idea if or when they show up. It's annoying ... but no biggie. The time spent waiting can be put to good use and I didn't have to travel. 

When I am early and someone is 15- 20 minutes late to a meeting IRL, a new dimension of existential waiting is unleashed. I have at times consumed enough water to hydrate a herd of camels; I have learned the server’s favorite karaoke song, the details of their divorce and why they’re boycotting plastic straws. 

Some people will text at or near the scheduled time. But to me, “I’m on my way” are not only the 4 most suspicious words in the modern lexicon, they translate into “I’m just leaving my office or home or wherever now… no biggie!” 

Maybe one day the universe will sync with my schedules—until then, I will greet the tardy with as genuine a smile as I can muster while planning to tag them in my contact list as “zoom only.” 

At what point is it OK to get up and leave?