Today is my Father's birthday and 18 years after his passing I am just starting to miss him. 

Why am I just starting to miss him? He was a "Damon Runyon" ("Guys and Dolls") character, emphasis on character, to the outside world. Although he was a tough SOB and especially hard on his first born son he is finally starting to get through to me. In the early 80s I wrote a painful piece about him and here are some excerpts which will impart some of his "flavor":

A short, bald, stocky, fun-loving drinker
 who married late for who knows why.
 He was known to say to her,
 "I picked you up out of the gutter
 and I can throw you back."
 He was never seen at home,
 just heard rolling into my sleep --
a loud and roaring drunk.
 But he was self-made and, of course, Great.

 He had meager time for me and
 he never ever spanked me.
 But, I overheard him sneer that he would buy my love
 and at 16 he gave me a convertible and changed my life.
 Suddenly I was a Big Man too.

 When it came time for college
 he advised me that I'd be "taking up space". 
He told me I was a "bum" and should go to work.
 His disapproval extended to my marrying for love
 and not for money --
a very low percentage "sucker move".

 Then came the summers I worked for him --
he rode me hard trying to  
simulate his own apprenticeship.
 His workers whispered "Little Hitler"
and how could I help but hear?

You're tired now
 and your piss and vinegar
 have run dry.
They say you've mellowed,
 but what about me 
old man?
 It's never too late. 
Please, just once,
 tell me how good a boy I am
 and how much you love me.

He was tough and hard, but now I find myself constantly quoting him, e.g., "My father said there is nothing new under the sun", "My father said nothing is ever said in jest", "My father said get on their level", "My father said you can get more with honey than vineger", "My father said never give a sucker an even break", "My father taught me to live within one's means", etc., and utilizing interpersonal skills he somehow transferred to me, e.g., "Give a firm handshake and look him in the eye" . 

Now I wish he were around and more mellow, so I could hear his stories and ask for his counsel. Happy Birthday Dad! I miss you! I miss you a lot!