Every year one of my friends reviews his relationships and categorizes them creating a top ten list. He has a bunch of criteria, some of which is strange but one particular point got me thinking.

His top friends are those who can he be most authentic with. As he says, "...the people when I'm around I can be myself, say whatever pops into my head."

It struck me that he may treat some people very brutally, even those he loves. Although brutual honesty can be just what's needed in a relationship, I think the practice needs thought, not just saying whatever comes to one's mind. The emphasis in brutal honesty should be on the honesty, not on the brutality.