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01.12.2019 (12 Days Ago)

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Authentic or Brutal
Authentic or Brutal
12 days ago 16 comments Categories: Lifestyle Tags:
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Every year one of my friends reviews his relationships and categorizes them creating a top ten list. He has a bunch of criteria, some of which is strange but one particular point got me thinking.

 

His top friends are those who can he be most authentic with. As he says, "...the people when I'm around I can be myself, say whatever pops into my head."

 

It struck me that he may treat some people very brutally, even those he loves. Although brutual honesty can be just what's needed in a relationship, I think the practice needs thought, not just saying whatever comes to one's mind. The emphasis in brutal honesty should be on the honesty, not on the brutality.

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  •  Fred wrote 12 Days Ago (neutral) 
     
    0
    Filters wear down over the years...
     
       
     
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  •  Phyllis_Newbert wrote 12 Days Ago (neutral) 
     
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    If you're going to be brutally honest with someone you had better be ready to receive it back.
     
       
     
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  •  Corey_Bearak wrote 12 Days Ago (positive) 
     
    1
    Not sure I believe in filters. I believe honest and tasteful, not argue v a sharp wit but “brutal” only okay when appropriate aka when it makes sense. Wonder low I’d react to that friend.
     
       
     
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  •  Tessa_Marquis wrote 12 Days Ago (neutral) 
     
    0
    Be Real.
    Brutti ma Buoni - Ugly but GOOD! The best of all the Italian "cookies" and our family motto.
    It is okay to have people dislike you, as long as you know why. I don't mind being called Brutal or Direct or Honest or even Rude...but not the anti-female words.
     
       
     
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  •  MarilynGenoa wrote 12 Days Ago (neutral) 
     
    0
    When "honesty" is done in a way that consideration is not given to the impact on the person listening I don't see it as something positive. We all need to vent now and then, but we need to remember words have meaning and are capable of inflicting as much, if not more, harm than a physical blow.
     
       
     
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  •  Cayce_Crown wrote 12 Days Ago (positive) 
     
    1
    Is it true?
    Is it kind?
    Is it necessary?
     
       
     
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  •  Rona_Gura wrote 11 Days Ago (neutral) 
     
    0
    I am a huge believer in filters. Not just personally but even more so professionally. I take time to think about what I plan on saying before it's said with the most thought given to whether it will help advance my client's case or just add "fuel" to the fire. I have watched so many lawyers tank cases because they choose not to filter their words.
     
       
     
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  •  EllynFinkelstein wrote 11 Days Ago (neutral) 
     
    0
    Your last sentence sums that up beautifully. After all at times being brutally honest even to the best of friends can have unintended consequences...
     
       
     
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