Advice or Validation

Advice or Validation
Categories
Lifestyle

We’ve all been there. Someone says, “Can I get your honest opinion?” What they usually mean is, “Can you please confirm that the decision I already made is brilliant, courageous, and possibly visionary?” Honest feedback sounds great in theory, right up until it arrives.

In my opinion, many people don’t really want advice. They want applause with a better vocabulary. They want you to nod thoughtfully while they explain why their questionable idea is actually “strategic.” And if you dare to point out a flaw, suddenly you’re being negative, unsupportive, or “not seeing the full picture.” 

Real advice is uncomfortable because it challenges the story we’re telling ourselves. 

So the next time you ask for advice, ask yourself this first: Do I want the truth, or do I want a standing ovation for a bad idea?

Comments

Rona Gura

I smiled when I read this. So true. I often question when my clients ask me for advice as to how to act in certain circumstances. I give clients  advice and then they do what they were going to do anyway. The question in my head always is, "Why pay me for my advice if you're not going to follow it?"

Corey Bearak

When I seek advice I go to someone who knows the subject matter or the issues and might see something (an angle?) I did not; information is always key and if there is information not at my hand or I just was not aware of, I'd want access to that as it might color my position, and that is the point when I reach out to another.

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