[Fredslist] On Nancy's Thoughts about the Tashlich--Bread Tossing Ceremony-done on Rosh Hashana

[Joel Schnur]

Happy New Year!  And from the Better Late Than Never Department, the
erudite and secretive Editorial Board of the Thought for the Day
presents
below some special modern-day rabbinic guidance for completing the
ritual
of Tashlich.  For those not in the know, on Rosh Hashanah, Jews
ceremonially rid themselves of their sins by tossing bread in the river
in
a ceremony called Tashlich.  Today, the EB of the TFTD expands on this
quaint tradition by specifying the bread to be tossed based on the sin
that
is being cast off:


      For ordinary sins, use White Bread
      For exotic sins, French Bread
      For particularly dark sins, Pumpernickel
      For complex sins, Multi-grain
      For twisted sins, Pretzels
      For tasteless sins, Rice Cakes
      For sins of indecision, Waffles
      For sins committed in haste, Matzah
      For sins of chutzpah, Bread that's fresh
      For substance abuse, Poppy Seed
      For committing arson, Toast
      For committing auto theft, Caraway
      For being ill tempered, Sourdough
      For silliness, Nut Bread
      For jingoism,Yankee Doodles
      For excessive use of irony, Rye Bread
      For telling bad jokes, Corn Bread
      For hardening our hearts, Jelly doughnuts
      For war-mongering, Kaiser Rolls
      For immodest dressing, Tarts
      For causing injury or damage to others, Tortes
      For promiscuity, Hot Buns
      For being holier than thou, Bagels
      For unfairly upbraiding another, Challah
      For trashing the environment, Dumplings
      For sins of laziness, Any Very Long Loaf
      For lying, Baked Goods with Nutrasweet and Olestra
      For the sins of the righteous, Angel Food Cake
      For selling your soul, Devils Food Cake
      For lust in your heart, Wonder Bread
      For inhaling, Stoned Wheat Remember, you don't have to show your
      crumbs to anyone.


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