[Fredslist] Fw: Children Article

[Fred Klein]

Below is a thought provoking piece by my daughter in law Julie Klein. 
-----Original Message-----
From: Julie <julie2k at optonline.net>
Date: Mon, 30 Jan 2006 07:33:56 
To:Fred Klein <fklein at kzrd.com>
Subject: Children Article

Hi Fred.  Included in this email is my latest piece..  Julie 
 
 
Are Children Taking Over?
 
By Julie A. Klein
 
            It happened the instant my son was born.  In a moment, life was changed forever.  But I did not realize at the time - to what extent.  Of course, with motherhood comes mothering and taking care of a baby, a toddler, a child.  Not only was that part expected, but overwhelmingly welcomed and appreciated.  The part that I find puzzling is that we, as a society, seem to treat children as our reason for being.  
 
            It’s true.  We do.  I am guilty of it and so is nearly every peer of mine.  I’ll tell you who is not guilty of this unnatural behavior -- my parents and many other people of their generation.  It annoys, irritates and confounds my parents that every activity, movie, restaurant, vacation and general outing involves something that will make our kids happy.  As a child, I remember being dragged along to the marine store with my father.  We would spend endless amounts of time selecting fishing rods, life preservers and bilge pumps, or some other fisherman’s toy of absolutely no interest to a 10 year-old girl (he had no sons).
 
            But I had to go with him and be patient, polite, pleasant and quiet.  That is the way it was.  If we dare drag a child to The Home Depot with us on a weekend, we bring props: coloring books, dolls, and of course the ubiquitous GameBoy – just to keep the kids happy.  Maybe I am jealous.  No one really cared if I was happy or entertained at the marine store.  And I am sure when we got home, my parents were not ferrying me to a playdate, soccer game, batting cage, bowling alley, Science Museum or movie.  Was there even such as thing as Chuck E. Cheese or Jillians?  They certainly did not coordinate, organize or revolve their weekend plans around us.  
 
            What are we doing?  We are filling our kids’ days and weekends with endless activities to make sure that they are always having fun.  Does anyone else see something wrong with this?  It is not that I don’t want my children to enjoy themselves and have the best possible childhood, but I also don’t want them to expect that every single moment is about them.  But it is happening all around us.  Just take a closer look.
 
            Have you been to a “kid-friendly” restaurant?  They are not limited to places like Friendly’s or The Ground Round.  More upscale restaurants are providing crayons and coloring pages and offer children’s menus as a way to bring in families and keep the kids quiet while they are there.  Of course this makes dining out easier on the parents, but the idea behind it is, the kids are coming along, and they will need to be entertained.  We used to eat out with my family a lot when I was a kid.  But we sat there and talked with one another, took a few trips to the bathroom and ate our dinner.  
 
            The dentist is another example of catering to kids.  If you have ever been to a pediatric dentist these days, you would know what I mean.  The waiting room can double as an arcade, playground or even a movie theatre, with endless activities for the short 10 or 20 minute wait to see the dentist.  And once your name is called, children enter a palace of inviting colors, posters, stickers and cool sunglasses.   Finally, toys are promised if you behave during your examination.
 
            Obviously all of these kid props and paraphernalia help me out day to day, as a mom.  But I often wonder about the long term effects.  What will the next generation be like as adults?  Will they be capable of thinking beyond themselves, their needs and desires, their GameBoy or ultimately, their Blackberry?  
 
            What we might be doing is encouraging them to develop and expand their imagination and creativity, to learn how to entertain themselves.  We could instill in them that it is okay, and even beneficial, to sit and think, read a book or perhaps just share ideas.  Also, and most importantly, let’s not make our children the center of every activity, outing and event.  When you really think about it -- that is a lot of pressure for a kid to handle: “it is all about you, all of the time.”  No one should be subjected to this intense treatment.  And while things could be a lot worse, we are doing our children a disservice if we continue to treat them as the center of our universe.
 
            I would do well to take my own advice.  What do you think?
 
 
Please submit any comments by email to julie2k at optonline.net
 
© Copyright by Julie A. Klein, All Rights Reserved.

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