It's all about networking - tribal networking. Read on.
 |
Let's Dispense With The Amenities
by Fred Klein on February 5th, 2010
(Make believe Andy Rooney is saying the following on "60 Minutes"): Admit it. You're up to here with listening to very stale "Happy New Years" greetings. I know I am and a good question is when will they stop (July 4th)?
In this vein, I have been accused (criticized?) of being "Kryptic Klein" in both my email and telephone style.
Thus, I ask, does the telephone caller really really care when he or she says "How are you?" as an opener? Must I then say "Fine, and you?" Think of the time that is a wasting!
I had this discussion with my wife Joanne and she was strident with her "You are rude" description of my conduct and style. I do not intend to be so and as a continuing response to all who feel that way I say "I'm sorry", but I want to get on with it and dispense with the amenities. I'm sure this is not a new concept. I am just a loyal (practical) practitioner.
Hey, at least "Hello" has been boiled down by the younger generation to "Hey". Now that's progress!
|
 |
| |
i accept your apology.
if you're too busy, you don't have to ask me how i am, you can simply say "hi."
Posted by julie Klein | February 5th, 2010 07:25:58 AM
"amenities" - one definition: the pleasantness of a person or place.
hmmmm.
Posted by julie Klein | February 5th, 2010 07:27:10 AM
Had a client once who was too busy to say "goodbye" at the end of a conversation so when he was finished with his thought, he just hung up. Amenities are not trivial. They make people feel that you care about them.
Posted by Nancy Schess | February 5th, 2010 08:33:57 AM
Though "kryptic," you have always been liberal with the compliments. I wouldn't have it any other way!
Posted by Marc Halpert | February 5th, 2010 08:46:14 AM
This is somewhat of a location thing...in CT and New England, swamp yankees do not like to talk alot so you are lucky if you get a nod!
In the middle of the
country, "pleasantries" are almost an essential part of the culture....kind of laid back----especially in LA...manyana baby!
Being a native New Yorker, I know what Fred means...I had remind myself of that many times when I moved to CT.
As a business networker and entrepreneur that is something to be mindful of when you are talking to a prospective client.
Have a great weekend...and enjoy the Super Bowl!
Posted by Marc Kroll | February 5th, 2010 08:52:35 AM
You are always the first one to say thank you. I thought your fast blackberry responses were because you don't like to type. Rude??? I don't think so. Chilla
Posted by Judy Heft | February 5th, 2010 09:27:09 AM
Some see at as rude, some see as efficient. Since it is better to give, we should be mindful of who it is we are speaking with, and provide amenities....... or not, if it's Fred.
Posted by Patricia Grebe | February 5th, 2010 09:34:25 AM
The other day someone,as part of his salutation asked. "how've you been?". I said, "sick since I last saw you." he said "oh, that's nice". And went right on talking. My answer is if you don't care don't ask, don't tell. Have a good day!
Posted by Janet Adler | February 5th, 2010 10:06:19 AM
I wouldn't describe you as rude. I'd describe you as brusque, which isn't so bad since I am as well.
Brusque or brusk:
Abrupt and curt in manner or speech; discourteously blunt.
Ha!
Posted by alex klein | February 5th, 2010 10:41:39 AM
Amenities?
Formalities seems more apropos.
Posted by alex klein | February 5th, 2010 10:43:03 AM
I had an uncle who was very gruff and short on the phone. He would always be the first to report bad news. He would call and say “Cousin S--- died, Cousin S---died” and then immediately hang up the phone.
Once an uncle of mine died and I was supposed to notify the family. I thought that I would give him a taste of his own medicine. I called and said “Irving B-------died, Irving B------- died”. Before I hung up he said “I know, I know” and then hung up on me.
You can’t make this stuff up.
Posted by Norman Spizz | February 5th, 2010 11:05:48 AM
Good
Posted by Mitch | February 5th, 2010 11:42:39 AM
Rude? Nah. Just Fred being Fred (which is a good thing).
Norm: Your story about your uncle made me laugh. There's one of those in every family!
Posted by Lucas Meyer | February 5th, 2010 12:02:03 PM
i still prefer people exercise some courteous behavior - whether you have time or not.
abrupt is off-putting whether you care or not.
Posted by julie Klein | February 5th, 2010 12:26:08 PM
Since I know you, I don't think it's rude. However, the behavior could certainly be considered rude by others who don't know you well.
It's the same when you meet someone in person...are you genuinely interested in who they are, what they do and what they have to say? Or do you just shake hands and say "nice to meet you" whether you mean it or not?
As they say, it's easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.
I've also found that the pleasantries at the open of a conversation will help open the other person up to whatever discussion you are about to have. And if you're predicting a tense conversation, it can help ease the tension.
Norm...funny story.
Posted by David | February 5th, 2010 12:53:20 PM
"Hey" has now morphed to "k." Now that's brevity!
Posted by Scott M. Klein | February 5th, 2010 01:11:59 PM
But if you had all those pleasantries with your clients each time you spoke with them, think how much more time you can bill.
Posted by Donald Bernstein | February 5th, 2010 01:57:56 PM
I know him well... and it's rude. Don't let him get away with it!
Posted by Joanne | February 5th, 2010 02:10:56 PM
K, honey!
Posted by Fred Klein | February 5th, 2010 02:52:14 PM
I am a Colgate graduate and it is typical of a down the road Orangeman to appropriate my voice. Our Legal Department is just itching to knock you down a peg Mr. Rudeness,
Posted by Andy Rooney | February 5th, 2010 03:04:23 PM
This is funny, Just yesterday I sent an email to a friend with the subject line Hey, Hey, Hey. I felt comfortable doing so. Would not do so with a client. I do appreciate when some one I know more than a casual friend ask's how I am, I find it sincere---When I'm meeting someone for the first time the last thing I wan't to say is "My life has been hell these past few months, but how are you?" I'm with Janet--don't ask if you don't want to hear it. Besides, can you imagine how much time these pleasantries take up, if we all cared to share some truth.
Sometimes, I too end a conversation w/o saying goodbye. As soon as I hear the dial tone---I immediately call back---never want to be rude. I do this to my mother a lot because she always leaves me with a to do list and I'm anxious to do--at least she laughs...Joanne, Fred's emails are catchy--it makes me condense what I have to say---not bad when the day is short!
Bye, everyone--enjoy the weekend and stay warm. :)
Posted by Cindy | February 5th, 2010 03:09:26 PM
You said you asked for it. "It" of course means comments, but I'll go along with it. Picture this: If a person steps into your office and starts to speak without the amenity of first saying "Excuse me" and waiting for your OK to speak, you are known to get . . . annoyed. You've said it's an interruption of what you are doing.
If you phone someone & stride right into the subject matter, without the amenity of How are you? and listening to reply, how is that different? Did you not interrupt that person with your phone call?
Even my species has the courtesy of sniffing first and waiting for a tail to wag before the barking begins.
Posted by Annie | February 5th, 2010 03:31:11 PM
As the rookie blogger I have a question, since there are so many comments from people with the last name of Klein do we count every three Klein comments as one? If we include Scott and Annie in the Klein family that would mean that you only have 16 comments. :)
As for my comment. I absolutely hate typing on my blackberry. As such, my emails from the blackberry are extremely concise. I don't consider myself rude, just lazy
Posted by Rona Gura | February 5th, 2010 03:46:31 PM
I'm in the Charlton family! (Oops, now Fred has another comment.)
Posted by Annie | February 5th, 2010 04:06:40 PM
How do you expect me to respond to this blog? I don't even know what amenities means, even after Julie's contribution. I'll just say that I don't like it as Andy Rooney works for the same CBS as that Witch (rhymes with....) Katie Couric. Maybe this is a subject for one of my FOX spot lights.
Posted by Sara Palin | February 5th, 2010 04:33:16 PM
No more 'How are you" for you.
Posted by Jack Halpern | February 6th, 2010 04:15:49 PM
I don't mind the curt phone calls or emails, but I'd like to finish a sentence when you're
Posted by Jane | February 8th, 2010 12:16:48 PM
I was going to respond, but then decided why waste the time?
Posted by Alan J. Schwartz | February 8th, 2010 03:15:28 PM
|
|
